All individuals with Autism experience emotions differently. Anxiety is the emotion that persists in overtaking my mind. I feel it in my heart, in my throat and in each limb. I hear the voices around me jabber words of encouragemen, but I feel their emotions emerge from within. This is my story. I emote my feelings entirely different than the average person. I feel my heart rise into my throat;only I can push it back down. I tell each limb to relax, but they rebel. My body lashes out against my will. I slap, I hit, I thrust my head into anyone or thing in reach. It is a frenzy within. I internally struggle every moment of every day to take charge of the anxiety. Prayer is my weapon of choice. I pray for my bodynto do as I command;however that is not always God’s will. I repeatedly try to organize my thoughts. It does not always work. I rejoice in the moments of triumph;I seek outside help when the battle is too much for me alone. One day I will win. Be the emotion that I lack. In time, I will not need others to lift me from the depths of my anxiety ridden soul. For now, help me. Stay calm, exemplify the emotions that I seek. Do not add to the frenzy by muddling my mind with words. Quiet is what I need to calm my thoughts. Whatever emotion I may lack, fill the gap. My experience with emotional dysregulation may be entirely different than yours. It may be exactly the same. I yearn to win my battle with anxiety, but moreso I yearn for others to see my struggles, and use them tomhelp someone else. I will triumph! Very proud others learn how to organize the welding then unyielding thoughts autists have eagerly waiting to come out. Understand that our bodies lie. You need good people to open our closed future for us.