Im waiting for God to answer my long time prayer to be a minister. I want to tell people the good news about Jesus’ salvation plan. It is what is needed for every soul. I hope and pray each person reading this knows Jesus as their Savior.
Please do not wait. Time is running out! I worry for those not saved. i pray for the lost.

Jesus is the only thing that means anything . There is so much heart break in this world people can’t survive without His grace. I would be pretty lost without being saved. My life is burdened with a passion for telling others about Jesus. dont wait until it is too late.

I yearn to live out on my own. I need my independence! I pray the procrastination quits. I try so hard to keep hopeful, but it is horrible not having some control over my life. I think pride has been part of the issue. People do not believe these are my thoughts. You take for granted using your voice. People treat ones without one with booming voices that drown our dreams. I wish I could operate purposefully, but my body does not listen. Please hear my true voice. I will not be silenced. My prayer is that others get the opportunitiesI will get this year at ACCESS Academy and moving out.

All individuals with Autism experience emotions differently. Anxiety is the emotion that persists in overtaking my mind. I feel it in my heart, in my throat and in each limb. I hear the voices around me jabber words of encouragemen, but I feel their emotions emerge from within. This is my story. I emote my feelings entirely different than the average person. I feel my heart rise into my throat;only I can push it back down. I tell each limb to relax, but they rebel. My body lashes out against my will. I slap, I hit, I thrust my head into anyone or thing in reach. It is a frenzy within. I internally struggle every moment of every day to take charge of the anxiety. Prayer is my weapon of choice. I pray for my bodynto do as I command;however that is not always God’s will. I repeatedly try to organize my thoughts. It does not always work. I rejoice in the moments of triumph;I seek outside help when the battle is too much for me alone. One day I will win. Be the emotion that I lack. In time, I will not need others to lift me from the depths of my anxiety ridden soul. For now, help me. Stay calm, exemplify the emotions that I seek. Do not add to the frenzy by muddling my mind with words. Quiet is what I need to calm my thoughts. Whatever emotion I may lack, fill the gap. My experience with emotional dysregulation may be entirely different than yours. It may be exactly the same. I yearn to win my battle with anxiety, but moreso I yearn for others to see my struggles, and use them tomhelp someone else. I will triumph! Very proud others learn how to organize the welding then unyielding thoughts autists have eagerly waiting to come out. Understand that our bodies lie. You need good people to open our closed future for us.

I have big dreams you can’t imagine. I operate on the premise that I will live in my own place, get a degree,  bond with others over pizza.  Prayer is the only way you can know God’s will for your life. You really dont pray to get what you want, but what desires for you. Believing you can is most important. I have many obstacles to overcome, but with jesus i can do all things. God will never  leave you or forsake you. I trap my thoughts on a daily basis to mimic Jesus. My hope is in nothing but my Savior. By  his blood is the only way you will be saved.

i went to Typers hell. Going to a movie is incredibly hard. My body is really impulsive, pulling in directions I can’t control. I almost didn’t last in the movie . I saw The Jungle Book. Being hushed is humiliating.  I realize everyone wants to hear the movie, but I really long to very much enjoy movies. Picture if your fried body psychologically can’t obey.  Be open to seeing the entire person and you will be blessed.

(Side note) The above is what Josh experienced after we went to the movie. I asked him if I could add a note at the bottom and he agreed. This is his mom. I felt terrible after reading this because it was very hard to hear about the hushing. I am guilty of doing that and it is a fine line where other people get to hear and we get to enjoy the movie also. We try very hard to be respectful of all parties, but he hadn’t been to a movie with me since we had had to leave the last time when several couples were extremely rude within  2 minutes of being there. He felt too guilty And that affected his body so much we ended up leaving. Just adding this to help you understand how much effort and determination it takes him to be able to accomplish this and that was what I told him when the movie ended. I was so proud he stayed and with each success we are able to move a little more forward.  We got to have a conversation about the movie after and I learned he wants to go see the batman movie lol. Anyway hoping this helps give you an insight into world Josh lives and decides to push through every day because he just wants to be able to do the things we so easily take for granted.  Thanks to all who read his blog and support him in his endeavors. We are so grateful and blessed to share so maybe one parent might rethink autism by hearing Josh’s thoughts.  God bless!

My new educational facility meets what I require for my vitality and growth. Brotherhood is important for widening the gaps. Your certainties may be wrong if you are willing to probe. I need people that believe in my potential. Neat things are happening at ACCESS. I  would love for you to be resonating my breaking news. Come and visit for yourselves. Be the change you want to see in the world. You can learn more about my school at Optimalrhythms.org

Freedom is heaven. I can’t emphasize enough how I long to be there. The torture of this world is my cross to yield to. Evil is surrounding me to put my gifts underground. Leap into the future towards open hearts. Jesus won the war, but there are battles still that need monitoring. Be mindful of the ones left behind with no voice. Nothing is worse than not having a way to communicate.

I learn rapidly by taking time to pray. God had opened people typing all through the years before  I enjoyed freedom. Preparing for the caring leaders takes prayer every day. Core belief is critical. I struggle with my body so much , praying it gets broken to what God ordains so I can be used . Have faith in what you psychologically don’t understand. Live praying over everything .

Being used in making some one see me as a person opens possibilities to get best therapies for autistics.  I struggle with getting  my body to do what I want and it frustrates me. I have thrown  things and did not mean to and everyone thought I was throwing a temper tantrum . It was my body  not listening. My brain understands everything but so many people believe I am less than competent.  you need to ask us everything because we are the products of years of false assumptions .  Help break these doors down! Meet some of us and it will create an opening to learn.  There are so many more you can reach.  Meaning to doesn’t get us anywhere . Actions speak  louder than words.